


and is not time even as love is

by Moriavis



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Character Death Fix, Fic Exchange, Gift Fic, M/M, Male Character of Color, POV Character of Color, Time Travel, Time Traveler's Wife fusion, Wordcount: Over 10.000, post-Legends of Tomorrow S1 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7443727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moriavis/pseuds/Moriavis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After surviving the explosion of the Oculus at the Vanishing Point, Leonard became something more than human. Even so, he couldn't stop gravitating toward the people he loved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and is not time even as love is

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saekhwa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saekhwa/gifts).



> This was written for the Coldflash Summer Exchange, and I was lucky enough to get the lovely saekhwa as my recipient, so I was super pleased.
> 
> Thanks so much to kisahawklin and dungeonmarm for the betas and handholding, you guys made this story a million times better.

~*~

Dying didn't hurt.

There was a blast of concussive force. Incineration, so hot and immediate that Leonard felt nothing. All the struggling that he'd done in his life, all the plans, and he'd given it up in an instant. He hadn't been willing to lose anyone on the team, refused to lose Mick a second time, and that realization had made the choice easy.

Then again, if he'd known death was simply thought without form, Leonard might have reconsidered his decision.

"You never struck me as the type of guy to keep a girl waiting, Leonard. You should be ashamed."

It was Lisa's voice, but there was something alien in her tone, something cold and amused that he didn't recognize.

She also never called him Leonard.

Leonard opened his eyes and blinked up at the ceiling, noting the height of it, the bare wooden support beams. He was on a couch, his hand dangling off the edge, fingers brushing a lush, soft carpet.

Fuck. There was an afterlife.

"Not in the way you think." 

Leonard jerked himself up, pushing off the throw blanket that had been draped over his legs, and looked over toward the voice, toward Lisa, who was sitting in a chair to his right. She was relaxed, feet up on the coffee table in front of him, arms stretched out over her head until she let them fall down to the armrests of her chair. "You're also right in thinking that I'm not Lisa, not really."

He ignored her for a minute, scanning the room. There was a familiarity, a deja vu that he couldn't quite kick. He could feel the fabric of the couch against his palm, smell the woodsmoke of the fire burning in the fireplace. If this were a dream, surely it wouldn't have been so crystal clear. "We're in my grandfather's cabin. How?"

Lisa inspected her fingernails. "Is that what it looks like to you?"

Leonard narrowed his eyes. "Cut the crap and tell me what's going on."

"That's not the way this works, sweetheart." Lisa's eyes were dark, sympathetic, and Leonard felt tension ripple across his shoulders, tightening his neck. "Let's start with something easy. What do you remember?"

Leonard clasped his hands together and turned his head to the left, removing Lisa from his line of sight. "I was at the Vanishing Point. Mick was going to die to save the team. I chose to do it instead."

"What were you thinking when you made your decision?"

Leonard's mouth curled into a sneer. "Sure wasn't thinking about therapy, if that's what you're asking."

"There's no need to be so defensive, Leonard." 

Leonard opened his eyes, closed for the briefest of moments for a blink, and discovered Shawna sitting next to him on the couch, legs crossed, fingers drumming on her knee. Leonard glared at her, at the way she so casually entered his space, and then looked at Lisa again, who was waiting patiently, her blue eyes calm and measuring.

What had he thought about? Mick, and the deep certainty that he could never let his friend make that sort of sacrifice for people he hated, couldn't stomach leaving him behind again. Sara and her kiss goodbye, the way her dark eyes looked before she dragged Mick back into the Waverider. His own life, cut apart to fit the goals of the Time Masters, and how he was at the Vanishing Point, for the first time in his life able to make a decision that wasn't guided by the twisted, corrupt hand of fate.

"You think he gets it yet?" Shawna asked Lisa, and Lisa shook her head.

"No, not yet." Lisa smiled, but it was affectionate, not disdainful as he had half expected. "He's smart, but he's not that smart."

Leonard's temple throbbed. Over in the corner, Mardon and Bivolo were playing some sort of game— it could have been checkers, but when he squinted to get a better look, everything seemed to blur and fade.

"Don't think too hard." Lisa set her feet on the ground and leaned forward.

Leonard shook his head and stood, cutting off whatever it was that she was planning to say. "Where am I?"

"Nowhere." Lisa shrugged and looked around, gesturing at the room around them. "And everywhere."

Leonard's frown deepened. "I'm dead."

"No." Lisa smiled at him, as though his words made her happy. "No, Leonard, you're not."

Leonard's gaze skated over the room, cataloguing the entrances and exits, and he wondered how many people were there. "Am I stuck here?"

"You already want to leave? You're so impatient." Shawna shook her head. "It's a shame."

"Children don't know any better," Lisa said, and she leaned back. "Are you stuck here, Leonard? You're the only one who can answer that."

Leonard glared hard at Lisa— who or whatever it was wearing her face— "I don't like mind games. I'll see myself out."

Lisa hummed and interlaced her fingers, reclining back in her chair. "Of course. We'll be here when you get back."

Leonard cast another suspicious look around the room, but no one was paying him the slightest bit of attention outside of the two sitting next to him. He didn't know what was waiting for him on the other side of the door, but it had to be better than old memories and a stranger wearing his sister's face.

"Don't wait up." Leonard stalked to the door of the cabin and threw it open.

~*~

He fell.

His bare feet stung where they struck broken asphalt, and all at once, like an inrushing vacuum, Leonard could feel his body, his physicality in a way that he hadn't while he was in that cabin. It was dark, and it took his eyes time to adjust, to see the barest outline of the moon in the sky, the street lamps to his left. 

He was freezing, naked and vulnerable, his skin peppered in goosebumps. He refused to panic, pushing his instinctive fear back for a second as he reviewed the situation. There wasn't much to consider— if he stayed out here for too long like this, he'd freeze. Clothing first. Shoes. Food. Then he would find out where he was, how to get back to Central. He didn't have a way to get back to the Waverider, so the rest of the team were on their own. He hoped they kicked Savage's ass.

There was a door in the alley, and he tried it without expecting anything— it was locked. There was a fire escape that ran the height of the building, and it looked like there was a clothes line hanging from one of the fourth floor apartments.

Leonard bit back a curse and looked around to see if there was anything in the alley he could use as a tool. There were two dumpsters with no lids, not quite close enough that he could use them to reach the fire escape ladder, but they would at least give him a hand on the landing. He looked first right and then left— the alley was empty, and the traffic was light, with only the occasional sound of wheels crunching against the street. He didn't exactly have a lot of options.

He grunted as he pulled himself up, hooking his toes into a small notch on the outside of the dumpster and reaching up to catch the edge of the landing with his fingers. He focused on his grip, ignoring everything else, and swung back and forth, reaching for his next handhold. It reminded him vaguely of the monkey bars he'd played on in first grade, and his arms corded with effort as he swung again, inching himself closer and closer to the fire escape ladder.

Leonard grunted in satisfaction when he reached the fire escape ladder, yanking it down with one hard tug. The metal screeched as it moved, and Leonard paused, holding his breath as he waited for someone to poke their head out, his mind racing for a plan if that happened. He had no other plans. He was screwed.

Fortunately, no one came to investigate, and so Leonard clambered up the ladder as fast as he could, taking a moment to breathe once he'd reached more solid ground. Phase one of his plan completed successfully, he fought off a shiver and headed up, hoping that there was something on that clothesline he could use.

He was able to scavenge a pair of pants that were too big for him and a shirt that was a size too small, but it was better than running around naked. The apartment was dark when he peered through the window, and even more promising, the window was unlocked. Leonard crept inside, guiding the window frame down so that it wouldn't make a noise, and then stuck his freezing hands underneath his arms, trying to regain some of his warmth. There was a newspaper sitting on a battered coffee table, and he picked it up, scanning the date.

Central City Citizen, which meant he was home. 1975, which meant he wasn't when he wanted to be at all.

What had he gotten himself into?

He wanted to go home, but home was Lisa and Mick. Lisa, still in hiding from the Time Masters, and Mick, who might as well have been a pebble in the timestream. Leonard was on his own.

He didn't want to go back to the cabin, though he knew instinctively that returning would be as easy as breathing, if only he could let go of his pride. If he went back, he would only be more confused, at the mercy of whoever they were that wore his Rogues' faces.

There was a tug in his chest, an urge, and it made Leonard hesitate, the way he always did when he didn't have all of the pieces to the puzzle.

In the end, it didn't matter. He took one more step and the world spun around him so fast that he had to close his eyes, crouching close to the ground as though the position would help him keep his equilibrium.

When he opened his eyes again, he was in a kitchen. There was sunlight streaming through the windows, a breeze stirring the yellow curtains above the sink. He was naked. Again.

There was a swoosh of sound behind him, and Leonard snagged a dish towel hanging from the door of the refrigerator as he turned toward the small noise, barely keeping himself decent. He had no idea what he was going to say, but he opened his mouth anyway— only to find the words frozen in his throat as he came face to face with Barry Allen.

"Hey." Barry smiled like he was completely used to Leonard popping into his kitchen without his clothes on, and reached for the refrigerator handle, too close for Leonard's comfort.

"Barry." Leonard edged away from the kid, pressing more firmly against the kitchen counter. "You've got me at a disadvantage."

Barry frowned, his eyebrows pulling together, and looked at Leonard, his eyes drifting down Leonard's body, pausing at the towel, and then coming back up. Leonard glared, rigid with tension— backing down now would let Barry know how vulnerable he was, and he wasn't going to give up any more ground than he already had. 

Then Barry's expression cleared. "Oh." Recognition spread over Barry's face, and he flashed out and back into the room before his juice decanter dropped. He caught the decanter in one hand and offered Leonard a blue terrycloth robe with the other. "Here."

Leonard shot another narrow, suspicious look Barry's way, but Barry's face was pleasant, neutral, and it allowed Leonard to relax enough to take the robe, to turn away and pull it around himself, cinching it tight. He didn't quite know what to do with the dish towel he'd taken, so he just folded it and set it on the counter. "Thanks, kid."

"Would you like some coffee?" Barry didn't move to touch him, extending an arm to offer a chair, and Leonard was grateful as he sat in the chair and looked around again before his gaze settled squarely on Barry. 

"I'm gonna make you some coffee." Leonard didn't say anything, watching Barry move around the kitchen. When the coffee was ready, he poured it into a mug and presented it to Leonard. No sugar or cream, black, just the way Leonard liked it. Leonard curled his hands around the mug to appreciate the warmth— it had only been minutes ago that he'd nearly frozen, and he wasn't as recovered from it as he pretended.

Leonard drank his coffee, and Barry drank his orange juice. The silence between them was strangely pleasant. "I didn't know you had a house."

Barry laughed and ducked his head. "It's pretty new. I couldn't stay at Joe's forever."

Leonard nodded and took another sip of coffee, peering at Barry over the lip of the mug. "When am I?"

"When?" Barry looked down at his glass and cleared his throat. "Twenty twenty-eight."

Leonard paused and held his breath, counting to ten before he exhaled. "All right."

Barry gave him another one of his concerned looks. "You're freaking out. It's okay. You're going to be okay." He reached out as though he were going to touch Leonard, but something in Leonard's expression made him stop, his hand settling back onto the table instead. "Is this— is this your first time?"

Leonard cocked his head to the side, relaxing a little as he leaned back in his chair. "Second. I was just in 1975."

Barry's eyes went wide, and he lit up with such joy that Leonard was almost tempted to look behind him, because Barry had never looked at him like _that_. "This is… this is the first time you've traveled to me, isn't it?"

Leonard frowned and raised his hand, peering at the sleeve before he looked back at Barry. "You mean this happens often?"

"Oh my god." Barry's cheeks flushed, his eyes sparkling, and something twisted in Leonard's chest. He'd always known in a passing way how attractive Barry was, but having Barry's attention so solidly and positively focused on him made Leonard's head buzz. "Oh my god, you have no idea. This is it, this is where it starts! For you, I mean— this. This is incredible."

"You've stopped making sense, Scarlet."

"No— I mean, yes, I know—" Barry stood, darting up and around in a weird, broken up kind of pacing, electricity sparking around him. "Time travel is so weird, I don't even know how to explain it—"

Leonard shook his head. "I'm clear on time travel."

That paused Barry's pacing. "Okay, great, I don't have to give you time traveling 101. I'm so excited I don't know where to start."

"Start by sitting down." Leonard leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table, and then Barry was sitting across from him again, his coffee topped off. "Tell me what you're talking about."

Barry took a deep breath. "I know I sound messed up. I've been thinking about what I was going to say to you, at this exact moment, my whole life."

Leonard frowned again. "Hate to break it to you kid, but there's no way."

Barry shook his head. "No, not you _now_. But you will. Here, let me—" He flashed away and then back to his seat, carrying a small blue spiral-bound notebook, beaten up and worn with time. "See for yourself." Leonard accepted the notebook when Barry passed it over, flipping it open. The first few pages were dates and times, carefully written in a childish hand, and Leonard could see the progression of time in the way Barry's penmanship changed. "See? I wrote all— well. Most of it down. I didn't think you were real, at first."

It was in Leonard to shake his head, to protest, because before the Oculus, he'd only known Barry after he became the Flash. "Hate to break it to you, kid, but I didn't do this."

Barry opened his mouth, looking like he was going to argue again, but instead he reached over— Leonard stiffened, thinking Barry was going to try and touch him, but their fingers barely brushed as Barry took back the notebook. "There's so much I want to say, Len. But I also know that the first rule of time travel is not telling the future, and even I learn things eventually. Let's talk about something else instead. Are you hungry? I can make egg sandwiches."

Leonard wondered if he had time to eat, wondered if there was a time limit to each of his visits. He wondered a lot of things, but Barry was waiting patiently, so he said, "I could eat." Barry's smile made Leonard's insides clench in much the same way Sara's smile did— he'd never allowed himself to think of the possibility before his time in the Waverider, how Barry's belief in him had secretly been one of several reasons that made him join the team, but there was something about the kid that Leonard simply found appealing.

"You've never told me what happened." Barry took eggs from the refrigerator along with butter and milk. "Will you tell me about it now?"

Leonard watched Barry as he considered Barry's request, and then rested his elbows on the table, facing away from the stove. It caused a discomforting thrill, letting Barry into his blind spot, but he also couldn't bear to look at him, already knowing what he was going to say. "How much do you know about what I was doing in 2016?"

"Not much." The eggs sizzled as Barry added them to the pan. "I just know that you were gone. Let me think… you were gone, and I… right. I was dealing with a metahuman named Zoom at the time, so I didn't really pay attention to anyone else. It wasn't until Professor Stein came back that we even knew that had been going on."

Leonard nodded. "Short version— the Time Masters were controlling time with something called the Oculus. I stayed behind to destroy it. Hoped to give the team a real chance at killing Savage." He shrugged. "And now I'm the star of Quantum Leap."

Barry laughed and set a plate in front of Leonard, the eggs steaming a little in the sandwich. "You sound like you've got everything figured out."

Leonard shook his head. "Not everything. Not even close." He took a bite of the sandwich, watching Barry out of habit as he ate. The last time he'd eaten anything, he'd been in the kitchen of the Waverider. Days ago. Centuries ago. "I was in a place that wasn't entirely real. I have to assume it's a side effect of the Oculus." He popped the last bite of sandwich into his mouth. "I'm not going to look at your book of dates, Barry. I died so we'd get free will, not so yours would get taken away."

"I don't think time works like that, not really," Barry said. "The changes we make, it's not like it happens because it's been destined since the moment we were born, if that's what you think. Time happens because our experiences have shaped us to react a certain way, and we make our choices because making a different choice would be untrue to the person we've become."

Leonard arched his eyebrow. "I'm impressed."

Barry rolled his eyes. "Believe me, I've had a lot of time to think about it."

The corner of Leonard's mouth twitched. "Thanks for the sandwich."

Barry nodded, but didn't entirely look like he was satisfied. "Would it be okay if we just… talked?"

"Talked about what, exactly?" Leonard smirked, watching the way Barry's eyes tracked the movement.

"How about the fact that you're a hero?" Barry's smile widened, and Leonard rolled his eyes, settling back in his chair again. "If I understand you correctly, you just died saving the world."

"I was angry." Leonard tilted his head and clasped his hands together, rubbing the soft webbing between his thumb and forefinger absently. "The Time Masters had Mick. Sara wouldn't run away with me. Found out my entire life was plotted to bring me to the Vanishing Point at that very second. Seemed like the thing to do."

"Wait, wait, you and Sara?" Barry laughed, and then laughed harder, hiding his face behind his hand as his shoulders shook. "Oh, _man_." Leonard arched his eyebrow, waiting for Barry to calm down, but every time he seemed like he was winding down, one look at Leonard's face set him off again. "No, I'm sorry, it's not funny, I just…" Barry inhaled a shaky breath. "I guess you don't have anything against cradle robbing."

"Should I?" Leonard shrugged, flicking his gaze to the table before settling back on Barry. "We're all adults. It takes a special kind of person to catch my interest." He didn't bother to say anything more, letting the silence lengthen between them as he watched Barry, unwilling to blink in the off chance he could miss something. From the moment they'd met, the Flash had drawn his attention more than any other adversary, and even now, he couldn't look away.

A flush crawled up Barry's throat, growing patchy and red in his cheeks. He cleared his throat. Leonard didn't blink. "So… uh. You and Sara, huh?"

Leonard shook his head. "No. Made an overture, but it wasn't her thing. Gave me a kiss goodbye, though. That was nice."

Barry smiled again, relaxing and leaning forward, resting his forearms on the table. "A kiss goodbye makes me think I still have a chance."

Leonard shook his head. "You're gaming the system, Barry. You're from the future. I'm from the past. You have an unfair advantage."

Barry stared at him, unrepentant. "All's fair in love and war, right?"

"I'm not taking advice from a timeline remnant."

"Maybe I'm not." Barry unfurled from his seat and skirted around the table. Leonard looked up at Barry as he leaned in and got another smile in return. "But I think I should give you something to remember me by, just in case."

 

Barry raised his hand, slow enough that Leonard could stop him if he wanted to and curled his fingers around the nape of Leonard's neck. Leonard could see the kiss coming a mile away, had at least five different ways he could end it without hurting the kid's feelings, but—

 

Well. Leonard was greedy. He'd never denied that.

 

He kept his eyes open as their lips touched, watched Barry's eyelashes flutter against his cheek as Barry closed his eyes. It was a chaste kiss, sweet, and then Barry pulled away, resting his forehead against Len's for a second, their breath mingling in the space between them. Leonard settled his hand on the small of Barry's back, and Barry made a sound that Leonard wanted to chase.

 

He didn't, choosing instead to lean away. Barry exhaled a small, disappointed noise and opened his eyes, although he didn't move, standing there with Leonard's hand keeping him in place. 

"I don't think I'm going to forget that." Leonard's voice was raspier than he expected, and Barry smiled, soft and adorable.

 

"That was the point." Barry slid his fingers against Leonard's jaw as he pulled away, and Leonard's skin prickled from the heat left from Barry's hands.

 

Leonard let his hand fall from Barry's back. "What changed between 2016 and now?"

 

"I guess that's something you'll have to find out for yourself." Barry turned away, and this time Leonard felt the shift happen, saw the way the world blurred and retreated around him. It was as if he were standing on one side of a waterfall, the current of time eddying around them.

 

~*~

 

"I thought you said you weren't coming back." Mick's voice. 

 

Leonard scowled and whipped around to face— whatever it was, wearing Mick's face. "Stop it. Wearing their faces to manipulate me ain't gonna work."

"We aren't trying to manipulate you." Not-Shawna was still wearing Shawna's face, sitting cross-legged on Leonard's favorite couch. "We're trying to guide you."

"You could just tell me what you want." Leonard folded himself against the corner of the couch. He was comfortable relaxing into the shield of his clothes— the jeans, thermal shirt, parka. His fingers itched for the butt of the cold gun, but his holster was empty.

"We want you to be comfortable." Shawna smiled, soft and encouraging.

"We want you to wake up," Mick corrected. "The sooner you come to terms with yourself, the better off you'll be."

Leonard glanced at the door. When he looked back at Mick, he noticed a side table against the couch that wasn't there before, and he took the steaming cup that sat there as if it were waiting for him.

Hot chocolate. Mini-marshmallows. Perfect.

Leonard had stepped out that door and found himself in a different time. Obviously the explosion of the Oculus had caused a side effect he hadn't expected, leaving him unmoored and drifting. "Why don't you tell me a story? Once upon a time, there was something called the Oculus."

"The Oculus was an object, used to view time, and eventually to manipulate and control it," Shawna said.

"But in the Vanishing Point—" Mick leaned forward, steepling his fingers as he set his elbows on his knees, "— anything is possible. A human, who at any other point would have lived a forgettable, mundane life, could change the nature of time."

Shana pulled her leg up, clasping her hands around her knee. "In the eyes of the universe an act of destruction is also an act of creation."

Mick raised his hands, palm up. "Once, there were two things that were separate. The Oculus and Leonard Snart. Now though." Mick interlaced his fingers. "You are something altogether new."

Leonard didn't make a sound as he processed what they were telling him, his forehead wrinkling into a frown. "You're lying."

"Your mind is limited by what it used to be." Mick faded into Sara, and something stirred in Leonard's chest. He wrestled with the alarm, the wistful loneliness that seeing her brought out in him. And they weren't trying to manipulate him. Bullshit. "You are so much more than any of them now. Your friends, your family, they are all grains of sand in the hourglass of your mind."

"You are Oculus, the eye of Kismet, the hand that now guides Fate." Whatever it was that had worn Shawna's face faded into Rathaway, eyes piercing behind the thick lens of his glasses, and Leonard's head started to hurt, his temple pounding as his vision started to blur. "You are a child, birthed into a realm beyond mortal comprehension. It's no wonder that you can't understand, not yet. Not now."

Leonard closed his eyes and leaned back against the couch, taking a deep, slow breath as he tried to organize his thoughts. There were a thousand questions, a thousand clarifications he needed, but none of that mattered. His goal was the same as it always was. "I want to go home."

"This is your home," Sara said. "The hardest thing you will have to learn is how to live in it."

~*~

He sat on that couch and listened to the others talk. They weren't people, as such— they didn't have family, they didn't worry about death. They were concepts, the embodiment of the invisible forces that created the universe, and Leonard wasn't quite sure when he changed from disbelief, sliding toward understanding. Fate, Time, Light— they were all here, immeasurable, made small by Leonard's limited human understanding.

"If I am the Oculus, I should be able to control where I'm going." Leonard had been sitting on the sofa for lifetimes, for centuries, and it was still as comfortable as it had been when he'd first sat down. There was something unique about this plane of existence, something enthralling, and Leonard slotted another piece of understanding into place, that here there was no physical discomfort, because they didn't exist in a physical plane. Music lay in galaxies colliding, stars burning out, nebulas pulling together.

"With more practice, you'll be able to go anywhere you want." Kismet no longer wore Rathaway's face. They were inevitability, shot through with greens. The Speed Force was a gentle, smug sort of peace, golds. Something about them made Leonard want to curl into a chair and sleep. It should have been alarming, but Leonard was in the middle of his own metamorphosis, always hungry for more knowledge. And they were always willing to share.

Still, for every new thing Leonard learned about his new state of being, he still felt the pangs of his old life. Lisa was out there alone. Was Mick still in the Waverider with the team? And Barry, the pressure of his mouth, the way it startled Leonard with its immediacy, as though it always just happened.

He didn't know how long he'd spent listening when he decided to open the door again. Listening to someone talk was all well and good, but there wasn't going to be control without practical application.

"Good luck." Kismet and Gravity were standing on either side of him, and he couldn't tell if they were being sincere or snide. Sometimes they were both one and the same.

Leonard rolled his eyes. "There is no luck." Then he flung open the door and stepped out.

He landed in a bedroom that looked incredibly familiar and for a moment Leonard was seized by wrongness.There was too much to feel, his body formed around him like a cage— blood rushing through his veins, the expansion of his lungs pumping air in and out of his chest, the carpet beneath his feet.

He closed his eyes. Took a breath. Focused. 

When he opened his eyes again, he was settled, and he looked around the room again. He was in Lisa's apartment, the guest room she always kept open in case he or Mick had ever needed a place to crash, and he opened the closet, taking out the shirt and pair of jeans he always kept there in case of an emergency. The whole popping into the timeline naked thing was starting to get annoying. He'd have to fix that.

Leonard got dressed and then headed for the kitchen, his stomach rumbling with hunger. That was another thing that he'd already forgotten, and he went through Lisa's cupboards until he found her stash of potato chips. He craved salt in the worst way, and he ripped open the bag, shoving a handful of chips into his mouth.

He was licking the salt off his fingers when he heard footsteps at the entrance to the kitchen. "Don't save any for me, it's okay. There's a grocery store just down the street." Lisa was snide, mocking, and he whirled to face her, his heart leaping into his throat. He smiled at her, tremulous and full of affection, and somehow he'd forgotten the shade of her hair, the color of her eyes, the classy way she painted her nails.

Leonard managed to shrug and give her a sly look. "You can't eat just one."

"Don't quote commercial taglines to me, loser. You're lucky I don't punch you for what you did to Roscoe."

Roscoe— 2006. Lisa was nineteen and thought Leonard was a jerk. He wouldn't do anything to disabuse her of that notion. "Try it." Leonard pinned Lisa with a look, and Lisa rolled her eyes.

"What're you doing here, Lenny? You don't usually drop by unannounced."

Leonard folded the edge of the bag and cinched it closed with a clip before he put the potato chips back where they belonged. "Would you believe me if I said I was from the future?"

Lisa snorted inelegantly and rolled her eyes. "Right. You came from the future to eat my chip stash. Your lies are usually better than that."

Leonard smirked and raised his hands. "You got me." He looked at Lisa, her hand on her hip, her eyebrows raised expectantly. "Lise. You ever get the feeling you've gotten in over your head?"

"All the time." Lisa shrugged and went to her fridge, pulling out a bottle of water. "You usually bail me out." She leaned against the counter next to him and cocked her head. "What's this about, Lenny? Are you in trouble?"

"Don't know," Leonard said. "I'll tell you when I find out."

"You always do this." Lisa shook her head and took a swig from her water bottle as she pushed away from the counter and headed out of the kitchen. "You never let me in when it's important."

Leonard ached, could feel the urge to jump back to a less painful plane of existence— but now that he was here, he could steal back the time that was taken from him, say the things he'd never gotten around to saying. "You're the only one I let in when it's important."

Lisa's shoulders stiffened, and she whirled around—

Leonard took a breath and let go, allowing the current of time to pull him back from Lisa, from 2006. He didn't want to see her face. He was almost positive he wouldn't have been able to leave if he had.

~*~

Leonard was sitting on a bed, and for a moment he thought he was back on the metaphysical plane— if only his body wasn't so heavy, his mind so limited. His clothes were still on, somehow, and it clicked in his brain, exactly what felt different when he made the jump. He wouldn't be caught vulnerable again. Leonard exhaled before he took a look around. The room was nice, in a kind of boyish way, with dinosaur posters scattered over the walls. Leonard tilted his head as he looked toward the desk in the corner, lit by a single desk lamp, and the boy sitting there, hunched over something.

"Are you just going to sit there, or are you going to help me?" The kid glared at him before turning his eyes back to his project, but the self-righteous annoyance in his hazel eyes was familiar enough.

"That depends, kid." Leonard stood and took a couple of steps closer, frowning as he saw the device Barry was working on. "What is it?"

"It's a miniature SPR." Barry glanced up, and whatever he saw in Leonard's face made him sigh. "Surface Plasmon Resonance machine. It's for analyzing biomolecular interaction. Joe thought I should build one for the Science Fair."

"You're smart," Leonard said, "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"Sure, Len." Barry rolled his eyes, and then turned his face away from Leonard, although Leonard could still see the barest beginning of a smile. "That's code for you don't know."

"Maybe." Leonard crouched next to Barry as he peered at Barry's science project. "I don't know anything about biomolecular interaction, but I do know a thing or two about engineering. We could make it a working model."

Barry tilted his head, like he was thinking about it, and then frowned, giving Leonard another look. "I dunno."

"Maybe you're right." Leonard took one of the glue sticks and carefully pasted a piece of shiny chrome to the base of Barry's model. "The proprietary patent doesn't go through for two more years, but we don't want to risk messing everything up, do we?"

"I guess not." They worked together in silence for another minute, maybe two, and then there was a creak on the stairs outside Barry's bedroom. Leonard tensed, but Barry just pointed at his closet, so Leonard squeezed Barry's shoulder before he went to the closet and closed the door, hiding behind Barry's hanging clothes.

There was a knock on Barry's door. "Hey, Barr." Detective West, as he'd anticipated. Leonard closed his eyes, taking one slow breath, and then another. He had been listening carefully to the advice given by the others, and he could sense the difference now, could feel the pull of different times, different places. He held himself in a single time by sheer force of will— he'd lived that way for so long that he hadn't been able to recognize the new strain. It was supposed to be as easy as letting go, and so Leonard did.

There were no words for Leonard's satisfaction when he opened his eyes and found himself back in the cabin. His body sloughed away, and he could see now that the cabin was starting to fall into a strange sort of disrepair, the corners of the room fading out in his peripheral vision.

"You've come a long way," Kismet said. It was growing easier to tell them apart. None of them really had voices or bodies, and as Leonard continued to learn, his mind became more malleable, more flexible. Leonard was the same— purpose, determination, and there was a small part of him that was… scared, he could admit. How would one person be strong enough to divert the flow of time?

"You're thinking about this wrong. Who else but you would be suitable? You guide time. It doesn't have to be a river."

Realization.

Understanding.

_Time didn't have to be a river._

Time unfurled before him like a blueprint, and he saw it all. The mistakes in the foundation, the rooms that were never made, the walls that were never broken down. Time was his to mold. He could make it perfect. He could make each second _elegant_.

There was a sound behind him, and he turned his head to see a shimmer in the air, a slowly widening tear.

"What is that?"

"Your friends." Kismet— understanding, unapologetic, inexorable. "How lucky you are. You're one of the rare few who gets to make a choice."

"I don't understand." Leonard looked back toward the rift, the way it widened in fits and starts. 

"You can stop your ascension at any time, if you wish. All you have to do is walk away from this." 

"And why," Leonard asked, as they watched the rift falter and fade away, "would I be stupid enough to do that?"

~*~

Leonard flickered between his physical existence and the stretch of his new abilities, unable to focus his attention enough to stay in one place, unwilling to shed his body just yet. Things seemed so different when he was with the others. Too distant, too unimportant. He knew intellectually that Lisa was back where she belonged because he made sure no one forgot her with the other children, because he had carefully arranged time to give her the freedom she deserved, but it had seemed unimportant until he missed her enough to make his way back to her.

When he opened his eyes, he was in a hallway with dark wooden floors, staring up at a painting he'd stolen for Lisa on her twenty-fifth birthday.

There was a gasp, and Leonard turned to see Lisa slowly raising a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide. "Lenny? Mick told me you were dead."

Just like that, Leonard's breath came easier, and he gave her half a smile, his lips curled up at the corner. "It's good to see you. You're safe?"

"Am _I_ safe?" Lisa asked, her voice rising as she came fully into the hall to face him. "You're alive. I need to tell Mick, I need—"

Leonard shook his head. "No. This is enough. You've always been better than me, train wreck. You can't follow me anymore."

"And you're being a dick." Lisa stalked closer, lifting her hand as though she was going to touch him before she thought better of it. "What happened to you?"

Leonard smirked at Lisa. "I was a hero. You would have been proud."

Lisa scowled at him. "I'd rather you were a living criminal, not a dead hero. You taught me better than that, I would've thought you'd follow your own advice."

Leonard hesitated and then dropped his smirk, looking at Lisa seriously. "Someone had to stay behind. It was either going to be me or Mick, and that wasn't a choice."

Lisa took a shaky breath. "I'll tell Cisco. He'll figure something out." Leonard opened his mouth, but she flicked a look over to him, her eyes hard. "And don't you dare tell me not to bother. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for me."

Leonard closed his mouth, and then reached up to tousle her hair gently. "You're going to be just fine."

"For a second, I thought I was seeing things, like you were a ghost." Lisa's voice was thick, full of emotion, and she clenched her hands into fists at her side. "I hate you, jerk." Leonard nodded once, not bothering to argue, and let her go, turning back the way he'd come.

~*~

Time was inconsistent, full of errors, paradox. Leonard rewrote the blueprints, the very nature of time itself, streamlined it. Time remnants were messy flaws, so Leonard plucked them out. He removed the grandfather paradox of the Reverse Flash with a flick of his mind— Eobard Thawne went back in time to kill Nora, which meant that Edward Thawne couldn't kill himself to stop his descendant. 

Hunter Zolomon no longer had the protection of his suicidal tendencies— if he died, then there was no way he could go back into the past to offer himself as his own personal sacrificial lamb. 

Savage only needed a single death at the hands of Kendra. She was the only one who had the right.

And then there was Leonard Snart. Oculus. Both out of time and in the center of it. As much as he longed to, he understood now that he couldn't make a single change to his life without ruining the new variation of time that he'd created. 

He found himself thinking about Barry's book of dates, how uncomplicated and happy Barry had been to see him, and it settled in him like an ache, an echo, reminding him of the things he'd left behind. He wasn't exactly sure how much he could even trust Barry, all things considered. Speedsters were tricky. They were the same as him, in a way, both a part of time and outside of it, guided and protected by the Speed Force. Barry remained in a temporal blind spot, and it bothered Leonard more than it should have.

Sometimes, when the burden of the Oculus paired with the placid flow of cosmic existence rested too heavy on Leonard's shoulders, he would go to Central, taking comfort in his favorite places. He knew better than to allow himself to go back, but no matter what the others said, Central would always be his home.

~*~

Leonard found himself in someone's backyard; it smelled like the grass was freshly mowed, and the flowers in the flowerbeds were blooming and bright. It was almost surreal, how perfectly Stepford it all was, and he frowned as he turned in a slow circle. He'd felt a pull, couldn't resist following the thread.

There was a little boy sitting in the grass, making loud growling noises as he attacked his plastic triceratops with his T-Rex, and Leonard's breath caught. The boy was perfectly present, one hundred percent in the moment, and even so young, Leonard could see the lightning of the Speed Force just beneath his skin, almost an after image of movement. Leonard sat down where he was and watched the kid— and it was Barry, had to be Barry, there was no one else so marked by the Speed Force— wondering exactly how he was going to approach him without being labeled dangerous. He decided to start with something simple and work his way up from there. "Hello, Barry."

Barry's head shot up, and he looked at Leonard with a natural, unguarded curiosity that made guilt curl in Leonard's gut. "Who are you?"

"I'm a friend." Leonard didn't move, didn't want to give Barry any cause for alarm. "You can call me Len, if you want."

Barry clutched his plastic T-Rex tighter. "Where did you come from?"

"The future," Leonard answered honestly. Barry's eyes narrowed in suspicion, and it made Leonard smile. "Would you like me to do a magic trick?" That made Barry's eyes flare wide in excitement, and he scooted closer on the grass. 

"Stay there." Once he was sure Barry wasn't going to move any closer, Leonard let himself fall out of sync with Barry's time, just enough to vanish for a few seconds, and then reappear. Barry laughed, clapping his hands in delight. Leonard was a little worried, wondering if he was setting Barry up to be more trusting of strangers, and he frowned, stared at Barry intently. "Remember, don't just talk to strangers, kid. Not even if they do magic tricks. Got it?"

Barry shot Leonard the most disdainful look he'd ever seen on a five year old's face. Leonard couldn't believe how charming it was, his frown melting away at Barry's expression. "Mommy's already told me about stranger danger."

Leonard narrowed his eyes at Barry. "Why are you talking to me, if you're so smart?"

Barry rolled his eyes. "Because you're not real."

Leonard smirked and inclined his head. "That's right. I'm your imaginary friend. Is it okay if I come visit you again sometime?"

Barry glanced at Leonard again, walking his triceratops over his knee. "I guess so."

Leonard watched Barry play for a few minutes, his smirk fading into a smile. "I liked dinosaurs when I was a kid, too."

Barry frowned at Leonard again, his face squinching up in annoyance. Turns out Scarlet had started off as a terrible kid. It was kind of adorable. Barry climbed to his feet and went inside for a minute, maybe two, and returned with an extra handful of plastic dinosaurs. " _Everyone_ likes dinosaurs," Barry announced as he plopped down on the grass, scattering the handful of toys between them. "I bet you don't even know their names."

Leonard snorted. There was no way he was going to get into a dinosaur naming contest with a five year old. "Whatever you say, kid." Still, Leonard took one of the small raptor toys and attacked Barry's triceratops with it, raising an eyebrow when Barry defended the triceratops with his T-Rex. "Cheater." 

"Not!" Barry insisted, pounding the raptor into the ground with his T-Rex. "They're friends!" Leonard shook his head and relinquished the toy, wondering why he was going to come back so often when he had all of time to choose from.

~*~

For a while, Leonard lost all concept of _self_. Oculus did its work, spanned the course of recorded history and beyond. It was another step past its old humanity, closer to the being it was meant to be, and just like that, Oculus understood that its work on Earth was done. Time was as clean as it could be, all its paradoxes circling in closed loops, all its mistakes rearranged.

There was an entire universe clamoring for Oculus' attention, if only it would listen.

"Snart, get your ass down here."

Leonard jerked to the sound, unsure when he'd last heard his name, and followed the deep pull of connection to the Vanishing Point. To Mick.

Leonard had forgotten the finer details— the stiff way Mick held himself, the way he gritted his teeth and tensed his jaw like he was struggling not to punch some sense into him. Leonard forced himself into his body like it was a suit he'd outgrown, and he could feel himself leaking power, letting it drip like water from his fingertips, staggering a step forward out of the sheer weight of existing.

Mick didn't flinch when he turned around and found Leonard waiting behind him. "You look like shit."

"Thanks for the heads up." Leonard smirked. Mick stared at him, his mouth flattened into a thin line, and it was easy to intuit what Mick was thinking, just like it always had been. "Don't blame yourself, Mick. It was my decision."

"I know." Mick folded his arms over his chest. "I blame you for the Boy Scout. Thinks he's my new partner."

Leonard laughed at that and put his hand on an outcropping of rubble left over from the destruction of the Time Masters' headquarters. He could see the Waverider floating only a few feet away, and he looked back at Mick. "Smart, using a hologram."

"Thought it was the only way I could see you," Mick allowed. "I'm not the one floating in space like a lunatic."

"You called me here to insult me?" Leonard smirked again, looking at Mick fondly. "The more things change…"

"Look. The Flash has got it in his head that you want to be saved. Problem is, I don't think you've got a plan in place. For once in your life, you're bullshitting your way through. Hoping no one notices." Leonard watched Mick struggle for his next words, eyebrows knitted together. "Thing is, you don't need a plan this time. We're gonna get you back." Mick averted his eyes, looking down in the vicinity of his shoe. "Needed you to know that. We're coming back for you."

Leonard blinked and then watched Mick for a long moment. "You've changed."

"Doesn't mean I'm not going to kick your ass for what you did here."

"Cute, Mick." Leonard released the tether that had brought him here, his body flaking away as he turned his attention elsewhere. "Real cute."

~*~

Leonard pored over the timeline of every existing life, making small adjustments out of a newly formed sort of instinct, 7.4 billion people at his fingertips. His friends had wanted him to be a hero, and here he was, guiding the course of every life on the planet, every life that had ever been, every life that would ever be.

Every once in awhile, he still felt a pull. He always went where there was need, and sometimes the need was his own. He found himself pausing for a second to watch Lisa live her life, and passed her without letting her know he was there, like they were nothing but strangers in the crowd. The farther Lisa moved away from the Rogues, the life of crime she had followed Leonard into, the more certain he was that he made the right decision.

Mick was with Ray and Sara and Jax on the Waverider, and even though he'd suffered— they'd all suffered— he found a stability there, a foundation of his own that had nothing to do with Leonard. 

Leonard was so proud of them both.

And there was Barry. 

Barry, somewhere close to sixteen, and looking a good four years younger, pacing back and forth, as he looked impatiently at his watch. Leonard sighed, and for a while, he ignored the itch to talk to Barry again, to take advantage of Barry's easy companionship. He watched Barry for a second longer and then shook his head, pushing into Barry's time and allowing himself a minute to get used to the sensation of existing on a lower plane again.

The smell of the grass. The wind rustling through the leaves. Leonard hadn't realized he'd missed them.

Barry's eyes lit up when he saw Leonard, and his smile was so wide that the corner of Leonard's mouth curled up in response. 

"Were you waiting on me?"

Barry planted his hands on his hips, his smile small, but still present as he shook his head. "You're late."

It wasn't a denial, but Leonard arched his eyebrow and stared Barry down. "I can't be late if I didn't make any promises." He extended his hand, and Barry frowned at Leonard before he removed the watch from his wrist, giving it to Leonard. It was digital. Leonard fought the urge to glare at Barry and then corrected the time before he handed the watch back. "It was fast."

Barry snorted and waved his hands in the air as if he could change the subject through sheer determination. "Thanks, but I really really _really_ need your help!"

Leonard tilted his head, his eyes narrow and sly as he watched Barry flail around. "Okay, kid. I'll bite. What can I do for you that the Wests can't?"

Barry opened his mouth, looked somewhere in the vicinity of his feet, and then looked back up again. "Do you know how to dance?"

Leonard raised his hands in surrender. "You're on your own, Barry. Good luck."

"No no no," Barry pleaded, scrambling closer and grabbing Leonard's arm. Leonard took a step back, yanking his arm away, and Barry let his hand drop. "Please, you've got to help me. I asked Becky Cooper to the dance on Friday, but Iris keeps saying her name all stupid and Joe keeps laughing too hard to actually teach me and I'm kind of desperate, okay? It's embarrassing enough, asking my not-so-imaginary friend to help me."

"A school dance." Leonard sighed at Barry's earnest nod. "You know no one actually dances at those things, right? It's an excuse to make out behind the bleachers."

Barry rolled his eyes at that and looked down, his shoulders slumping. "Why did I think you'd be willing to help me?"

Leonard reached up and squeezed the bridge of his nose as he looked around. They were in one of Central's many parks, one that was small and not all that popular. There was no one besides the two of them there at the moment, so Leonard offered his hand. "Don't get used to this," he warned, but Barry's smile was happy and sweet anyway as he rested his hand in Leonard's. He dredged up the memories of his own school dances— used as an excuse to meet up with Mick and cause trouble before it was school that became the problem— and settled Barry's hands on his hips, ignoring the way Barry's face turned pink at the contact. "I don't dance. That being said, you put your hands on her hips, and be a gentleman. Don't let them wander up or down. She'll probably want to put her hands on your shoulders." Leonard shared an example, dropping his hands onto Barry's shoulders, staying there just long enough for Barry to get used to the weight. "You're going to lead, so stick with something easy. Two steps, swaying back and forth."

"Okay." Barry's forehead was furrowed in concentration, and he shuffled a few steps to the right before he stepped on Leonard's shoe and tripped. Leonard used his grip to keep Barry upright.

"Or you can hold up the wall all night." Leonard couldn't resist teasing, and he laughed at Barry's annoyed scowl.

Barry dropped his hands from Leonard's hips and sank to the ground, crossing his legs. "I feel dumb."

Leonard curled his hand around his wrist, rubbing his thumb against the base of his palm as he considered his options. Easiest would be to step away, step out and be grateful that he no longer had to concern himself with emotions. Instead, he lowered himself to the ground and looked at Barry from the corner of his eye. "Stop being so hard on yourself. Try having some fun."

Barry laughed to himself. "I'm taking advice from a weird old man in a park."

"That's my cue to leave," Leonard said dryly, and Barry shot a mischievous look at Leonard from beneath his eyelashes.

"Thanks," Barry said as Leonard stood back up and brushed off his jeans. "You're okay for a magically disappearing, reappearing friend."

Leonard reached down slowly, still not quite sure of his welcome, and ruffled Barry's hair. There was something about him, something wistful that reminded Leonard of Lisa, and he smirked at the warmth of his affection. "You'll be okay."

Barry sighed. "I wish I could take you to the dance instead."

"Thanks, kid." Leonard slid his hands in his pockets and turned away. "Appreciate the thought."

~*~

The next time Leonard wandered, he found himself on the Waverider. If pressed, he might have said that he liked to see the fruit of his efforts, but the truth was far simpler than that. He missed the people he'd become close to, missed the faces Jax made behind Raymond's back, missed the bar fights, missed annoying Rip for the sake of it. Being a being of cosmic power was both more and less than he'd expected.

The hall he was walking became a dead end at one of the cargo rooms, and he entered it. Sara whirled around, her form perfect, her staff inches away from jabbing into the hollow of his throat. He didn't flinch. "You just scared the crap out of me." Sara shook her head and lowered her staff before she looked back at Leonard. "You know you're haunting us, right? You're like a ghost."

Leonard smirked. "You're not the first person to make that connection."

Sara stared at Leonard a moment longer. "So it's true, then. You're the one in charge of time."

Leonard looked away from Sara. "I can't bring your sister back, Sara."

Even from his peripheral vision, he could see the way Sara's shoulders stiffened. "I wasn't going to ask."

Leonard smiled at her, a brief, pained thing, there and gone again. "Yes, you were."

Sara exhaled, turning from Leonard and absently twisting her staff in lazy figure eights. "So. You and the Flash, huh?"

"It's complicated." He stood still, just inside the door, but his gaze followed Sara around the room. Her past and future flickered around her like wisps, and Leonard narrowed his eyes, trying to see past the haze. "That doesn't mean that my attraction to you wasn't real."

Sara laughed and shook her head. "I think it's safe to say that ship has sailed. I... can't think past the next minute without Laurel—" She swallowed, her eyes going shiny. "And now you have someone waiting for you." 

Leonard wanted to deny it, but he settled for a shrug instead.

"Jackass," Sara said affectionately. "When we get you back for good, I'm going to beat you up. Serves you right, dying like you're a hero." Leonard sneered at Sara in response, and she laughed again as she set her staff aside. She sobered up as she turned back to face him again, her forehead creasing in thought. "We miss you, Leonard."

"Stop trying to soften me up, Sara. It's not going to work."

"And you're lying through your teeth." Sara didn't look disapproving, though, just amused. "Whatever it is you're doing, wherever it is you are— you miss us as much as we miss you. Think about that when you're gone."

"Stop being nosy and worry about yourself." Leonard smirked as he stepped back, stepped away, and he couldn't deny the satisfaction of getting the last word.

~*~

Leonard inhaled a sharp breath, sinking onto the bed next to him as he tried to blink the world into focus. His head ached, but he ignored it for a second, casing the room to find out where he was. He'd been in the middle of something. He thought.

"When were you going to tell me?"

Leonard turned to find Barry sitting in the corner of his room, tapping the blue notebook on the arm of his chair, and the world shifted back into focus. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Looking at Barry gave him a headache— he made Leonard too present, made him want too much. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Three years." Barry tapped the notebook against his chair again. "Three years between visits. I've been wondering all this time why there was such a gap, thought maybe something had happened to you, but—"

"It's hard for me to know when I am anymore," Leonard admitted.

Barry fell silent, his eyebrows drawing in as he shook his head. "I'd been waiting so long for our timelines to match up, to meet you for real, but it's just now occurred to me that you weren't ever going to tell me."

"There's a lot of stuff I'm probably never going to tell you, kid. You'll have to be more specific." 

Barry stood and tossed the notebook into his seat, running his other hand through his hair. "About how you're Captain Cold. You're a thief and a murderer, and you weren't going to tell me anything about it. About you. You're a _bad guy_ , Len. All along— you've been in my life since I can't even remember when and you never once told me that we were going to fight."

"What could I say?" Leonard asked, opening his eyes and watching as Barry stalked closer. "'Hey, kid, great to see you. By the way, I'm a criminal?'"

Barry choked out a laugh. "That might have been a good start, yeah."

"I'm not going to apologize for what I was." Leonard stared Barry down, tracking every angry twitch of Barry's hands, the spark of the Speed Force in his eyes.

"You're a criminal and a liar and you hurt people and you rob them." Barry spat the words and shook his head, turning away from Len. "That's what you told me. That's what you are."

Leonard sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. It must have been the night he'd betrayed Barry to free the metahumans, if he remembered Leonard's words that clearly. He laughed, just once, a soft bark of sound. "It was a very long time ago, for me." He looked at Barry, affection swelling in his chest, and to feel emotion, so present and intense, made him sick to his stomach. Leonard cared about that kid, and he felt the twist of guilt on top of that affection. No wonder he was always being warned to be careful— the universe was too big to exist in one person's heart. Leonard averted his eyes. "I understand that you're angry. You have every right."

Barry scoffed. "You're not even going to give me a freaking apology, are you?"

Leonard jerked his eyes back to Barry. "Is an apology going to fix anything?"

"No, but I think I deserve one."

Leonard stared at Barry, the determined jut of his chin, hands planted on his hips, and for a moment, he forgot what he had become, that he wasn't human anymore, that this second shouldn't be any more important than any other second.

But it was.

Leonard took a step forward, and then another, reaching out to draw Barry's hand away from his hip, to squeeze Barry's fingers. "I'm sorry." He even meant it, and he shook his head when he watched Barry's face tighten, his eyes welling up.

That stupid, precious kid, who lived so firmly in the present that he drew Leonard's attention like nothing else. What else was there but that moment, that room, that person in front of him? Leonard raised his free hand and cupped Barry's cheek, wiping away a freshly fallen tear with his thumb. "I'm sorry."

Barry nodded, closing the space between them and hugging Leonard tightly— it seemed natural, then, to tilt Barry's face and press a slow, soft kiss to Barry's lips. Barry trembled, and then he slid his arms up Leonard's back, pressing his hands between Leonard's shoulder blades. He didn't move like Leonard half expected him to, standing solid and still, his hands clenching handfuls of Leonard's shirt as he kept them pressed together. Their kiss became softer, and Leonard ignored everything else as he focused on that second, on the way Barry's bottom lip felt, the rush of his quickening breath.

Everything grew still and silent around them as they kissed, and the moment stretched on and on, until Barry broke the kiss with a shy laugh, ducking his head and pressing his face to Leonard's shoulder. "Wow. You just made me feel like time stopped."

Leonard blinked. The world rushed back in— the sound of traffic on the street, the blink of the digital clock on Barry's nightstand. "I think it did." He had been told that he couldn't both be human and be Oculus, and now he finally understood what it was they had been trying to say. It was far, far too easy to take advantage. "I should go."

"Wait." Barry jerked his head up and peered at Leonard's face. "Where are you going? Where _do_ you go?" 

"Barry." There was no way he could tell Barry about the Waverider, about the fight against Savage, and he searched for the words to say, frowning in thought. "There are things that have happened to me. I can't explain it to you. I'm not the man that I was, the man you saw tonight. I don't belong here anymore."

Barry dropped his arms, his eyes intense and sharp on Leonard's face. "You sound like you're saying goodbye." Leonard didn't deny it, couldn't find the words to reassure Barry, to let him know that he'd be okay. "I don't understand," Barry said after a minute. "I have an entire page of—" He stiffened and looked back at Leonard. "Those are all in your past."

Leonard didn't know if that was true, exactly, but nodded anyway. "Yes."

Barry raised his hands, shaking, like he wanted to grab onto Leonard again, but instead he just shook his head, his eyes getting watery again. "You kissed me like that because you're saying goodbye. You're… such a _bastard_."

"I am." Leonard smirked and inclined his head "Still, you're part of the reason I'm a better person. I'm not used to saying thanks, so you better appreciate it."

"Listen. I…" Barry huffed a breath and then faced Leonard again. "You don't have to tell me anything. Just promise me something, okay?"

"Depends what it is, Red. You know that."

"Eventually— okay. Eventually, I'm going to figure out what happened to you. All the stuff you're not telling me. And when I do, I'm going to get you back. It's not fair, what you've done, Len. I want you here, with me. Not just flickering through my life like a ghost."

Leonard shook his head. "Don't worry about me. Sounds like you have enough on your plate, anyway."

"Shut up." Barry pushed back into Leonard's space, curling his hand around the nape of Len's neck and pulling him forward into another kiss. "All I need you to do is take my hand. Every chance you get. I promise I'll bring you home."

"Barry—"

"Just promise me that, okay? I need you to."

Leonard reached out and squeezed Barry's fingers. "I promise. Every chance I get." 

Barry smiled, a small, tremulous curve of his lips, and then he tilted his head, resting his forehead against Leonard's. "I wish you could stay. Knock some sense into your old self."

"Can't." Leonard smirked and carefully raised his free hand to curl his fingers into Barry's hair. "That's your job."

"My job, huh?" Barry laughed, the sound small and intimate between them, and Leonard shrugged.

"You had some help," Leonard admitted, and then he pulled away, looking at Barry one more time. Three kisses over the course of lifetimes, and all Leonard wanted to do was peel Barry out of his jeans and find out what made the kid tick. A long time ago, he'd accused Barry of gaming the system. It was only now that Leonard recognized how heavily Barry had weighted things in his favor. If it hadn't been for that first kiss, Leonard doubted that he would have even looked twice at Barry, having already come to terms with his unrequited attraction. Now, though, he was starting to wonder why he'd given up without even trying.

There was a stirring of his being, the painful throb of humanity, and Leonard knew he had to go. He turned, not wanting to look at Barry when he left, but Barry's hand tightened on his, their arms stretched toward each other to maintain the contact. Leonard closed his eyes and shed out of himself, exhaling as he stretched out. The memory of Barry's hand on his was still intense.

"What are you doing?"

The Speed Force. That wasn't exactly a surprise.

"I have no idea," Leonard admitted.

"Let me make this very clear." Their voice was the coolest Leonard had ever heard it, hard. "Barry Allen is mine. He's not yours to change."

"Funny thing." There was a distortion, a blurriness to his vision, like he'd spent too much time squinting at something small. "He's been the one changing me."

~*~

" _Lenny_."

There was only one person who ever called him that, and Leonard responded immediately, before he'd consciously made the decision.

He stepped into a hallway with a lush, cream-colored carpet and paused there for a moment, looking right and left, noting the pictures on the wall, a few pieces of art, before he proceeded down the hall. The door to his left led to a bathroom, so he pushed open the door in front of him and stepped cautiously into the room, his eyes sweeping back and forth to take it all in. It was a bedroom, tastefully decorated in golds, and Leonard was surprised into a laugh.

"Don't you dare laugh at me." Lisa's voice was thin but indignant, and Leonard turned to see an armchair by the window. "You held onto your cold puns for years."

"You learned your sense of humor from me," Leonard pointed out, and he went to Lisa's side, slowing as he saw her clearly for the first time. She was a wispy old woman with thin, frail hands. She had a book face down on a blanket covering her lap, and her white hair was pinned back, her curls still perfect. "Lisa."

"I'm old, shut up," Lisa said with a smile, and she took Leonard's hand in hers, squeezing. They stared at each other for a minute, and then Lisa closed her eyes, pressing a hand to her chest. "It really worked. I called and you came." She opened her eyes and gestured for Leonard to come closer. He dropped to one knee in front of her chair, and she raised her hands to cup his face, looking at him with unabashed affection. "I've missed your stupid face, Lenny."

Leonard, for once, was at a loss for words. He always knew that he was going to die before Lisa, and seeing her now was something he didn't quite know how to process.

Lisa let go of Leonard's face and playfully fluffed up her hair. "I look that different, do I?"

Leonard shook his head. "No, you don't." Leonard could see all of her, the little baby she had been, so tiny and so precious to him, the woman who had struggled to get his approval— He shook his head and forced himself to see her as she was at that very moment.

"You were always a sweet-talker when you wanted to be," Lisa teased, and Leonard couldn't deny it, offering a smile instead.

He averted his eyes to try and compose himself again, but every breath made him ache in a way that was so human he was almost alarmed. Even now, he heard the the call of his ascension, of the Oculus, of the work he had yet to do, but he looked at Lisa again and knew he couldn't leave. Not then. "Are you alone?"

"Only because I want to be." Lisa shook her head. "I sent everyone away because I thought that perhaps this was possible. We have a few minutes before someone comes to check on me."

Leonard swallowed past the thickness in his throat. "What did I miss?"

"Only everything," Lisa said dryly. Then she looked down at her hands, idly twisting the ring on her left hand. "I married him, you know. Cisco. And I'm happy. I just wanted you to know that."

Leonard stared at Lisa, unblinking, resting his arms over his knee with a casualness he didn't feel. "That's all I ever wanted for you, Lise."

Lisa laughed and looked away, blinking and waving a hand in front of her face. "You're going to make me cry, jerk."

"Who would want that?" Leonard smiled, and Lisa gave him a sly look from the corner of her eye, so reminiscent of when she was younger that he felt a physical pang of homesickness. They were distracted by the sound of a door shutting, laughter filtering down the hallway.

Lisa shook her head. "They always like to rush things."

"Sounds like someone I know." They smirked at each other, and Len rose, leaning toward Lisa and scooping her into a hug.

"I've missed you," she whispered, and Len pressed his cheek against her hair, closing his eyes.

"Love you," Leonard whispered back, and then he reluctantly pulled away, retreating only at the last possible moment.

He knew the times that the people he cared about would die, knew how, knew why. He still turned his eyes away.

~*~

" _Len!_ "

Leonard's name echoed, and Leonard turned toward the sound— it was very specific, very urgent, and he followed the thread back to where it led.

STAR Labs. Barry. Of course. He hadn't expected any differently.

Barry wasn't alone.

"I _told_ you he'd come," Barry said, and Leonard turned, looked slowly from right to left— Dr. Snow and Cisco were off to the side, pale with shock, and he could see it, the hero Cisco would become. The woman Caitlin Snow was and would be, the legacies they would leave behind when they were nothing but dust. Mick, forever that sixteen-year-old boy in Leonard's mind, all the time Mick had been given at the Vanishing Point. Sara, her hand shaking as she reached out toward him, her eyes wet. She had only looked at him like that once.

He still couldn't remember the moment of the explosion.

"Leonard." Sara's voice wavered for a second before she swallowed and straightened her shoulders. "You're not dead."

Leonard hummed, following the line of her life, the hero she was, that she had yet to become, all the lives she would change. "No. Not exactly."

"I _told_ you." Lisa. Leonard turned the ghost of a smile toward her. He loved the fact that she wouldn't take no for an answer. He'd raised her to be stubborn.

"What's wrong with him?" Jax. Leonard turned, glancing at Jax and Stein. It was all there, too, the life Jax would lead when it was Stein's time to go.

"He gets like this sometimes." Barry reached out and Leonard automatically took his hand. Leonard's breath caught in his throat at the contact, his eyes flying to Barry's face. "Len, please. Try to remember."

"Barry." Barry, out of all of them, was the same kid he remembered. Lightning flowed beneath his skin, the light of the Speed Force spilling out of him, keeping him insulated and protected from the weight of Oculus' eyes on him. Leonard couldn't see his path, only the place he was in at that very moment, and it made something alien and so very, very human twist in his chest. He blinked and looked around again, a little more disoriented the second time around. "How did you call me here?"

"Um—" Cisco coughed and fidgeted as Leonard looked back at him. "Heat Wave— Mick— had your gun. I was able to vibe you, and… I'm sorry, this is super trippy."

"So you found the time to visit the Flash, but you couldn't make it back to the Waverider to let me know you were okay?" Mick asked, and Leonard frowned.

"It wasn't like that, Mick." Leonard grabbed a stool and sat heavily, exhausted by the effort of maintaining his body, of keeping his mind focused on one location, one time, long enough to have that conversation. "It's not something I can control."

Sara knelt in front of the stool and took Leonard's hand, clasping it between hers and squeezing tight. "How can we help you? How can we bring you back?"

Leonard frowned. "Bring me back? Why would you do that?"

Mick crossed his arms over his chest. "Thought you'd be jumping at the chance to get out of the timestream."

"What part of 'Lenny's acting weird' didn't you get, Mick?" Lisa crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against one of the desks, pouting. Mick just waved her away, his eyes focused on Leonard.

"It's not a timestream." Leonard stared up at Mick, his gaze narrow as he willed Mick to understand. Speech was so _limited_. "It's a blueprint."

Mick froze, and then he strode over to Leonard. Sara stood hastily to avoid being stepped on before Mick yanked him up from the stool. "Son of a bitch. This wasn't what you sacrificed yourself for, Snart."

"Want to clue the rest of us in, man?" Jax asked. "'Cause I don't know what just happened there, but I don't think it's good."

"There's no Oculus anymore." Mick shook Leonard again, and Leonard curled his fingers delicately around Mick's wrists, trying to anchor himself to this moment. "It's him. He's the one controlling it."

"Not controlling," Leonard bit out, his jaw so tense it hurt. "Creating."

Mick scoffed and shoved Leonard back. "What a waste of time." Mick stormed out the door. Ray followed after him, shooting one last glance at Leonard over his shoulder before he left the room.

It stung.

He'd also expected nothing less.

Leonard sank wearily into his chair, his attention already fracturing, tracking the butterfly light ripples that each life sent over the expanse of time, a wind ruffling the pages of his sight, occasionally smearing the edges of his plans. Nothing he hadn't prepared for.

"Len." Barry was there, kneeling in front of him, hands warm on Leonard's cheeks. Leonard locked his eyes on Barry, and Leonard felt like himself again, his dwindling humanity coaxed forward by the determined look in Barry's eyes, the contact chasing the weight of his body away so he could think clearly. "You look exhausted." Barry flashed away and came back again, holding a package of beef jerky, ripping it open.

"So, we're agreeing right now that we're not telling Eddie or Joe or Iris, right?" Cisco asked, and Lisa rolled her eyes, giving him a smile.

"I don't understand." Sara shook her head as Leonard accepted the jerky that Barry was waving in his face, tearing a piece off before he popped it into his mouth and began to chew. The salt made his mouth water, and he barely paused before he shoved a second piece into his mouth. "It doesn't matter," Sara continued. "You're one of us, and we're not leaving you behind."

Leonard shook his head, intending to respond, but then Dr. Snow pushed Barry out of the way and pointed a flashlight in his eyes. He squinted and raised a hand to shield his face, but she impatiently pushed it to the side. "You'll have more than enough time to talk after I get you stabilized," she said. "I can get an IV in and get you rehydrated, and—"

"And nothing." Leonard shook his head. "I can't—"

Leonard flickered between moments, correcting a small error, and forced himself small again.

"— stay long enough," Leonard finished, but the room was dark and empty. Everyone had gone home hours ago. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. For all the good he was doing, he still missed everyone. He should have made more of an effort to talk to Mick, Sara— Stein, maybe. Stein would have understood.

In a decision that was slowly becoming more instinct and less a decision, Leonard abandoned his physical form, his exhaustion falling from him in an instant.

"You cause yourself so much pain for so small a reason." Kismet flowed through him, gave him such a deep clarity of purpose he'd never known before he became _more_. "All of them, those mortals clinging to you, they are part of what you once were. They have no place in the life you now experience. It's okay to let them go."

"I understand your longing."

Leonard knew now why the Speed Force had always seemed so comforting to him— it was the same thing he sensed in Barry. Peace. Hope. Lightning held back by a veil of will and good intention. Loneliness made Leonard choke, and for a moment he wanted so desperately he almost couldn't bear it. "They are all special, but you can't continue doing this. It will rip you apart. You want to be human, and you want to be a god. You cannot be both."

~*~

Leonard couldn't focus, his inner turmoil rippling over the others and drawing their attention. It made him even more restless, tension drawing him tight, until all he wanted was a second of peace and quiet, without anything or anyone watching him for his decisions. Generally, he didn't care about being judged, but there was something so distant and alien about the other cosmic beings that it made his skin crawl. The more he manipulated time, the more of himself he lost, and he wasn't sure if it was worth it.

He fled the weightlessness of his new life and sank down into himself, rubbing his face hard with his hand as he stumbled and sat heavily in a chair. He was shaking. 

Leonard spent a few minutes relearning how to breathe and then dropped his hand, letting it fall to the arm of his chair as he looked around at the small room he'd found for himself. It was dark, night time, perhaps, and the walls were painted a light blue. He had no idea where he was. Appearing blindly was something he hadn't done in a while, so he cautiously swept his eyes over the room, pausing when he saw a crib to his right. 

He stood and walked closer, his footsteps soft against the carpet. The baby— he couldn't have been more than a year or two— grabbed hold of the slats of his crib and pulled himself up, peering at Leonard just over the top of the child-safe barrier. They stared at each other for a second, and then the baby started sucking on his thumb, gazing at Leonard with wide hazel eyes. Leonard shook his head and reached for the baby monitor on the side table near the crib, switching it off. "You've got to be kidding me," he muttered under his breath, but Barry didn't make a sound, wavering for a second on his feet before he sat heavily on the mattress.

Leonard tilted his head and frowned at Barry. "You don't make it very easy to get away from you." He was annoyed with himself the moment he said it— he had control of himself most of the time, and he was at Barry's side because there was something comforting about the kid. "I'm doing good things, Red." He sighed and looked at the wall, the little framed pictures of boats and fish. "You'd be proud of me."

And that was the crux of it, really. Leonard was a being of immense power, but he craved Barry's recognition. It wasn't enough to have the power to change the world without someone who could understand and appreciate it. Leonard wasn't a hero— he was a man who stumbled into a strange world, trying to be just a little bit better than he really was.

Barry gnawed a little too hard on his fingers and froze for a second before his face screwed up tight.

"Hey." Leonard reached into the crib and lifted Barry out, settling Barry in his arms and rocking him a little. "I just turned off the monitor. Don't wake anyone up." Barry gave a few hiccupping, unhappy cries, but he quieted down as Leonard walked him around the room. "Let's keep this a secret, kid. Sara would never let me live it down."

Strangely, the thought of Sara wasn't quite as disappointing as it had been before, and he was grateful. Perhaps his new perspective had given him some understanding. He had some incredible people in his life, all things considered. Lisa, Mick. Sara, with her biting wit and sad smiles. Barry, with his superspeed and his impossible heart.

Leonard had already changed the world. If he could let go, if he could stop thinking of home, he could change the universe. "What would you do?" he asked Barry, but Barry was sound asleep, and Leonard thought maybe he had the answer already. Barry would do as much as he could with his abilities while he had them.

He didn't stay for much longer, setting Barry back in the crib and leaving everything the way he had found it before he left.

~*~

Leonard turned his attention away from Earth and started drawing up new blueprints, plans of new planets, new life, new histories. It didn't stop him from missing his team, or his _city_. He would kill for the shitty meatloaf at The Motorcar.

"You have allowed yourself to become restless. Uncentered. Oculus is not known for its wavering attention." Kismet, in all of its unerring certainty, curled around Leonard, a ripple through the gentle current of the universe.

Leonard sighed. "I'm finished, and I'm bored. Is that all there is to this? What do we do when we're done?"

"We're never finished, my dear. Not every second can be filled with the activity your human heart desires."

Leonard stared off into the distance of the void. "When I was a kid, I always thought there would be something more."

"There is something more," Kismet said. "There's you."

"And out there?" Leonard swept his gaze over his charges, trillions and trillions of people living their lives. He could feel them like blood rushing in his veins. "Isn't there something more than us?"

"You're insatiable." Kismet was flushed with flickering amusement, curled around Leonard the way Lisa would have touched his arm, once, a thousand years ago. "Why must you always search for more, Oculus? Why can't you be satisfied?"

"It's a sickness." Leonard frowned, his forehead creasing as he thought. "I've never been satisfied."

There was a shudder, a subtle tilt of the cosmic plane, and it drew everything's attention like they were gnats, drawn forward by blinding light. There was a coil of unease in Leonard, and he thought of Alexa for the first time in a millenia. "It's the Speed Force."

They were there in the space of thought, and it was a shock all over again to see the Speed Force, curling in on itself, a knot, an ouroboros, and the universe trembled.

"What the hell is going on?" Leonard was twitchy, colored over with worry and nerves, but Kismet was as calm as ever.

"The Speed Force is an anomaly of its own. I'm surprised something strange hasn't happened more often since you've joined us."

Leonard blinked and rearranged the way he thought about the Speed Force. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"You stay away." The voice rang in Leonard's ears, and he winced, instinctively taking a step back. "This is your fault, Leonard. He's mine. He belongs to me."

"I don't understand." The disorientation grew stronger as he stared at the vortex at the center of the Speed Force. "Are we talking about Barry? I haven't—"

"He searches for you like he searched for his mother." Its voice rang with familiarity, and the Speed Force began to flicker into body after body, racing through them like someone would go through the clothes in a closet, searching for the right fit. "I'm not cruel, Leonard. I wanted to spare you the pain."

"Spare me?" Leonard looked around— for what, he wasn't quite sure. Nothing ever took interest past the initial disruption unless they were directly involved. "I don't understand."

There was a great, sucking gasp, a wrench in reality, and—

The Speed Force was nothing but the echo of Barry's heartbeat, and Barry turned to face him with lightning in his eyes, his chest shining with light, the Speed Force sealed inside Barry's impossible heart. Barry raised his hand, his eyes pinning Leonard into place."You promised, Len. Don't lie to me now." His voice rang out through the void, even as soft as it was, and Leonard stared in disbelief, looking at Barry's face, his hand, and back again.

Somehow, some way, he and Barry were the same. They were gods together, and that shook Leonard to the core, that he hadn't even considered that option.

"I don't want to be a god," Barry said, his hand still outstretched. "I just want you home. Where you belong."

_He isn't yours to keep_. The Speed Force was the barest of whispers sinking into Leonard's brain. _He will always choose sacrifice_.

"Well." Leonard took a breath and looked into Barry's unblinking eyes, looking for the kid beyond the power. "Looks like I've wasted enough time."

Leonard reached out and took Barry's hand.

There was light and pain as his godhood was torn away, and Leonard felt seared by heat, his skin flayed by the currents of the Speed Force, his eyes burning from the light, and then he could breathe, actually breathe, his lungs expanding and contracting. He took one step on wobbly legs, and then another. There was a robe thrown over his shoulders, and he clutched it close with thick, clumsy fingers that he could no longer work.

"Len. Len, can you hear me?" Sound. Leonard jerked his head to the side, but his eyes were still blurry, unable to focus.

"Barry, get out of the way. He's in shock." A woman's brisk voice, and then there was a gentle hand on his wrist leading him forward.

"Too slow." A rougher, more familiar voice, and then Leonard wasn't touching the floor anymore, He blinked again before he turned his face against the person blocking out the light, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

~*~

When Leonard woke up again, he was on a medical cot, although he didn't think he was actually in a hospital, not with the way the rest of the room looked. There was an IV in his left arm, and he had one hell of a headache. He squeezed his eyes shut again. There was a stir of movement to his right, and he flinched, but even that instinctive movement was slow and fuzzy. His body was heavy in a way he'd never experienced before, and Leonard winced, flexing his fingers, his eyes opening in cautious slits.

"Hey." Barry's voice was soft, gentle, and he abandoned his chair to lean against Leonard's bed, clasping Leonard's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "How are you feeling?"

"Kinda feel like I've been blown up and put back together, Scarlet," Leonard admitted. His throat was dry and scratchy. He couldn't remember the last time he had something to drink.

Barry went very still. "How much do you remember, Len?"

Leonard frowned and stared up at Barry. There were a lot of blanks in his memory— he remembered the explosion at the Vanishing Point, and then… shadows. A sense of purpose. A sense of greatness. "I remember you," he said, and he did. Plastic dinosaurs, a science project, a dance in the park, a kiss so perfect that it stopped time. "It's…"

"Don't worry." Barry's eyes were glistening, and he brought Leonard's hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to Leonard's knuckles. "I'll remember for the both of us." He looked behind him when Dr. Snow came through the door. "She's going to give you a physical. You were in pretty bad shape when we got you back."

Leonard looked at Dr. Snow and then back at Barry. "Don't go."

Barry smiled, wide and brilliant, and Leonard found himself staring, his heart tightening in his chest. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

And strangely, Barry did stay. Dr. Snow took Leonard's blood pressure, checked the dilation of his eyes, listened to his heartbeat for any irregularities.

"You are very lucky." Dr. Snow pulled the stethoscope from her ears and slipped it into the pocket of her lab coat. "You're dehydrated and suffering from adrenal fatigue, but you're going to be all right." She crossed her arms over her chest. "How do you feel?"

"Raw," Leonard answered, and Barry flashed away for a second, coming back with a glass full of ice. Dr. Snow gave Barry a look as Leonard took the cup and scooped out a piece of ice, sucking it into his mouth.

"I'll let Lisa know you're awake." Dr. Snow left the room, and Barry rested his hand on Leonard's shoulder.

"It's going to be okay." Barry was trying to reassure Leonard, and Leonard smiled, thin and brief. 

"How well do you know my sister?"

Lisa shoved open the door and stalked toward Leonard, planting her hands on her hips. She surveyed him for a moment, her eyes glossy with emotion. "Don't ever do that again. I don't think I could take it."

Leonard frowned. "It was me or Mick, Lise."

"Think I liked him better when we were robbing banks." Mick entered the room, followed closely by Sara and Ray. Just past them, Stein and Jax stood together, peering through the door. "He wasn't always so dumb."

"Thanks," Leonard said dryly. He cast a look around, frowning again at the crowd of his… associates? Teammates? "Anyone care to tell me how I survived?"

Lisa and Mick shared a glance, and Barry shook his head. "That's not important. You're here now."

Leonard could see it in their faces, the secret they were sharing, a strange new softness in their eyes that made him uncomfortable. He stole a look over at Barry and discovered Barry was already looking at him, warm and affectionate. The emotion in Barry's eyes made Leonard swallow, his gaze falling back to their clasped hands on the bed.

He'd let it go for now. He had time.

~*~


End file.
